Tolerance and Unmet Expectations

I’ve thought of late that both tolerance and intolerance are tied to a person’s expectations. Webster’s defines tolerance as “sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own.” (Merriam-Webster, 2018) In 21st Century American society, filled with autonomously held opinions, this traditional definition of tolerance is little tolerated by the ‘self-righteous’ who demand other people fully agree with their opinion. Failure to agree is to fail the passionately held expectations of those who pontificate their positions as the only acceptable (true) ones. Disagreement often results in labeling the opposition as intolerant, as bigots, racists, homo-phoebes, or as just plain morons. Civil discourse has fled the public square, and the expectation that you and I can ‘disagree agreeably’ has exited the building in families, churches, government offices, communities, and police stations to name just a few. Feelings have replaced objective evidence as barters of truth. ‘Woke’ positions are considered ‘righteous’ positions generating the unmet expectation that you must agree or else!
I’m all for discussing differences – even important passionately held differences – but not for the purpose of compromise or concession – certainly not to shame and shut someone up with whom I disagree! Let’s have the discussion to convince others of our positions while allowing others to try to convince us otherwise without resorting to name calling.
The Bible has plenty of expectations about the manner or way we interact with one another, starting with the need for humility. Way back in Exodus Moses confronted Pharaoh with these words, “So Moses and Aaron came in to Pharaoh and said to him, “Thus says the LORD God of the Hebrews:`How long will you refuse to humble yourself before Me?…” (Exo 10:3 NKJ) David reminds us in 2 Samuel, “28 You will save the humble people; But Your eyes are on the haughty, that You may bring them down. (2Sa 22:28 NKJ) The New Testament agrees in 1 Peter 5, “5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” 6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” (1Pe 5:5-7 NKJ) I could go on and on and on quoting Bible passages about humility, especially humility before God. When we remember God’s holiness and requirement for perfection (requirements met only by Jesus Christ), we all have reasons to be humble. But humility is just a start when we think about how we treat each other, though granted, an expectation we easily put on others, and just as easily ignore ourselves. Two other important Scriptures that are self explanatory in these relational expectations, especially for Christians: (1) 1 Peter 3:15, “15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;” (1Pe 3:15 NKJ), and (2) Ephesians 4:29-32, “29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4:29-32 NKJ) These attitudes and actions are what God both expects of His children, and empowers them to do through Christ and the Holy Spirit.