Unmet Expectations and Life

Unmet Expectations and Our Daily Experience

Honestly, I’m tired! Maybe it’s because I have officially entered the ‘older’ stage of life and have too many miles on this old frame. But maybe it’s not so much physical tiredness I am experiencing; maybe it’s more of an exhaustion brought about by trying to meet everybody’s expectations, including my own, and never quite succeeding. What do I mean by expectations?

An expectation, according to multiple dictionaries is simply the art of expecting. According to the third definition at The Free Dictionary.com, expecting means, “3. To consider obligatory; require.” Whether we are talking about the things we require of ourselves or others, or the obligations others thrust upon us, we deal with expectations every day. From biblical commands such as to love God and one another, to a mother’s order that her children be in bed by 8:00 PM, to the laws of the land, there are a lot of people and institutions with multitudes of requirements that each of us is obligated to meet. When those requirements intersect with our individual lives they become expectations offering us an opportunity to meet them, or to not meet them as the case may be. Those expectations may be serious, or frivolous; they may impact life and death, or they might simply be odious or even silly.

We all realize that expectations are everywhere, especially in our present society where the loudest voices with the angriest, and apparently most self-righteous demands based in racial and sexual identity flash across every TV and computer screen from moment to moment! More than ever, it seems, expectations from others relentlessly rule our lives, reveal our attitudes, and determine our standing with those around us. Whether we ‘obey’ from a desire to please someone, or we do so out of the fear of the consequences for disobeying, we often look at expectations as a quid quo pro endeavor.

Fulfilling expectations may lead to rewards from someone, but regardless of the source of an expectation, be it from within, or from the world outside, woe to the person who fails to measure up. All people, not just Christians, have to deal with expectations every day as those expectations present themselves to our consciousness. Sometimes, expectations between people, and between people and institutions, clash.

Look around. What expectations do you think the current crop of urban protesters have for us? Will you or should you acquiesce to demands beyond honest justice and police reform? Will you change your use of language? Will you feel guilty for historical wrongs and slink away with head down when confronted by their expectations? How will you react? What happens if you are labeled a bigot, or what if people curse at you and call you horrible names? Will you allow yourself to be shamed into meeting their expectations?

As a Christian, I am increasingly mortified by the obvious injustice that exists in the world. The Bible, which by the way is a primary source of our Western understanding of morality, justice, and ethics is often dismissed today as irrelevant at best, and oppressive at worst! Affirming what the Bible teaches about justice and injustice is disallowed in our present culture – though the feeling of self-righteousness so often thrust at the feet of evangelical Christians is now a universal norm!

What are we to do? Maybe we should just chuck everyone else’s expectations and ‘righteously’ defend our own expectations for everybody else and the problem would be solved! “Say what preacher?” I’m only half kidding because, logically, the world around us is hurtling down that very track where, as the Book of Judges relates, “There was no king in Israel, and everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” (Judges 21:25) I hate to break it to the world, but there IS a King over all the universe! His Name is Jesus Christ, the second person of the Trinity! And if we continue to ignore HIS expectations, there will be consequences indeed! (see Matthew 25:31-45) When we make ourselves the only rule of faith and practice, only chaos ensues!

But wait – how should a Christian view those God given commands and expectations prepared for us by God Himself? A true Christ follower can say, “The joy of my life is to obey God’s imperatives!” However, there is a problem. I am pitiful at obedience! What can I do? Where should I turn when not only do I not meet the self-righteous expectations touted by society, but even God’s truly righteous expectations are beyond my ken? In an ‘if – then’ world, a quid-pro-quo world if you will – to fail to meet live up means God is angry, that He will withdraw His presence, even that He may take me home because I have not moved the obedience meter far enough into the go zone!!!

Then I remember Romans 8:33-34

33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. (Rom 8:33-34 NKJ)

Then I remember Matthew 11:28-30

28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mat 11:28-30 NKJ)

Christ’s yoke is easy and His burden is light! I truly haven’t seen ‘obedience’ portrayed as ‘easy’ in the church! Instead, churches often rail against people’s apparent failures in the church and advocate more law, more obedience, more dedication, more surrender, and more humility, as if Christ’s obedience, dedication, surrender, and humility were not enough to see us through on this ‘mortal coil!’ In a world of chaos, it isn’t MY ability to meet the expectations of God that tell the tale! It is Christ’s HAVING MET THEM ON MY BEHALF that really matters! As the whole world has ‘self-righteously’ thrust its expectations and values squarely at the feet of all our institutions from Government and education, to the family and the church, with derision, let’s stand fast under the Sovereign King whose hand is not short, and whose eye is not slack to save His people from their guilt, their sin, and even their unmet expectations. After all, as the Apostle Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 1, it is the weak and despised things that God uses in this world for His own glory, not those who are wise and self-righteously able. And when people everywhere are screaming at us that we don’t measure up to their self-righteous expectations, listen to these words from Paul, “

30 “But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God– and righteousness and sanctification and redemption–
31 that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the LORD.”
(1Co 1:30-31 NKJ)