I recently ran across a word I had never heard before that may explain why people’s expectations for one another have gotten out of hand in our present chaotic national schism. The word is philauty, and it means ‘self-love, or selfishness, an excessive regard for oneself.’( https://www.thefreedictionary.com/philauty) For those with a background in Greek, you might suspect philauty comes from two Greek words, phileo-love, and autos-self. It’s pronounced like filthy without the h, and when its with one’s view of truth, it expresses a relevant notion about unmet expectations in our present divisive climate.
Based on a relativistic view of truth, many conclude that expectations driven by their personal (or cultural) preferences and beliefs (philauty) MUST be adhered to, or ‘you don’t love me!’ ‘You don’t deserve a hearing!’ ‘You are ignorant of what’s REALLY happening.’
Much like small children stomping their feet and screaming when they don’t get their way, these people are throwing self-righteous adult size tantrums that destroy property, injure innocent people, and impact our freedoms through ‘cancel culture,’ and demands for ‘wokeness’ about sex, gender, and economic inequality. Add legitimate demands about a broken justice system that really does need addressing, and you have all you need to know to conclude that it is imperative for you to capitulate to these so called ‘righteous’ demands.
Shaming follows should you make the mistake of standing for what Dr. Francis Schaeffer called ‘true truth’ that dares to disagree with all these philauty based expectations! Job loss, internet trolling (social media insults meant to hurt those who disagree), name calling, even death threats are not uncommon toward those who make traditional Christian truth claims.
While there are plenty of selfless acts based on a giving love taking place across the nation, there are also more than a few acts based on philauty. These are acts of destruction, looting, and even murder justified by a view of truth and morality that is anything but Christian!
How different from the biblical concept of selflessness which puts others before oneself! We call that biblical concept – LOVE! The greatest demonstration of that love is seen in this – Rom 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Christ sacrifice is the very definition of selflessness – of love, a concept lost on way too many people these days!
Everyone expects to be loved, though for whatever reason, many, many, many people don’t really feel loved. Could that be because, as a society we have lost any objective notion of the word love and instead, have embraced a subjective understanding that ties love to agreeing with our personal beliefs? To put it in one sentence, “If you don’t meet MY expectations, then you don’t really love me!” In our current culture, let’s think a moment about the connection between this subjective view of love and unmet expectations:
- “If you truly love me, I expect you to agree with me about EVERYTHING!”
- “If you love me, I expect you to go to bed with me.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to agree with my politics.”
- “If you love me, I expect you not to speak to me about your religion.”
- “If you love me, I expect you not to tell me what to do.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to embrace my values.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to reject America’s founding.”
- “IF you love me, I expect you to do what I tell you.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to use gender neutral pronouns.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to kneel during the National Anthem.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to confess your white privilege.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to acknowledge systemic racism.”
- “If you love me, I expect you to reject capitalism and embrace socialism.”
- “If you love me, you will embrace abortion on demand.”
- “Being loved is a pipedream, because no one cares about what I expect from them.”
Some people may read all this and just say, ‘huh?’ ‘What are you talking about – you don’t love me if you don’t agree with me?’ ‘Who believes that?’ If you think about it for a moment, just about everybody seems to!
This is the idea tied up behind Mark’s statement: “Bobbi’s world. Population: 1” There are very few who put Jesus first, other’s second and yourself last. We often see this JOY acrostic around Christmas. It’s our nature to be first in our own minds. That’s why we must have a new nature. Jesus has made that possible for us. He modeled JOY and allows the Holy Spirit to do His work in our lives, our minds and our hearts. We can only be this through the efforts of the Holy Spirit living His life through us. Many people equate sin with actions. They forget our sin nature. The old man will always choose self over others. That’s why I didn’t teach my Tuesday Morning Bible ladies “What would Jesus do?” It’s better to say, “How would Jesus be?” What would be His attitude? How would He handle the situation? You don’t have to teach babies and toddlers to be selfish. MINE is written on their hearts from the get go. Thanks for the reminder of such a vital principle.
Thanks Bobbi! I was watching an episode of Andy Griffith this morning where Ope is encouraged by a new friend his age to refuse to work for his 25 cents a week allowance. The ‘friend’ tells him that if his dad refuses to give him his allowance without his working, and simply because he’s ‘allowed’ to have it as his son, Ope was to cry – then stomp his feet – then throw a tantrum. “It works every time!” Andy doesn’t buy it of course, and later, after the new friend has his brand new 70 dollar bike impounded at the sheriff’s office for riding it on the sidewalk, the boy’s dad tries to insist Andy return the bike immediately! When Andy refuses, reciting the law, the little boy cries, stomps his feet, and throws a tantrum. The father finally catches on and decides to sell the bike. When his son starts raging at his dad, Andy understands the father get’s it and says, “There’s a real nice woodshed right out back!” As the father takes his son out, Ope shows he gets the idea by asking Andy for his old job back – Andy even gives him a raise of 2 cents a week! I fear such wholesomeness is completely lost on much of our current generation who would ‘de-fund’ the sheriff’s office and throw Andy out of office for recommending the ‘woodshed’ – if they could figure out what such a thing was for!